The power of habit

So,  I have been reading the power of habit by Charles Duhigg. I have been against self help books all my life but I should say this book changed my perspective on the genre. After being dumped and doing an intensive survey on being dumped and having a bit more experience in the 'dump and get dumped' cycle, I came to the following conclusion. (Disclaimer:  It could change). Every experience that you have been through, every emotion you have felt,  every mistake you have made have all been experienced, felt and made before. Not once but many many times.  I guess that is obvious when you think rationally but I am sure we are the most irrational when rationality is what you need the most. I am not saying one should not experience life as it comes. All I am saying is when you do and something happens that you do not understand, these books could provide a good insight into what happened.

All habits have a pattern: cue -routine -reward. Changing habits is most effective when try to change the routine while keeping the cue and reward the same. To make the change long lasting,  you need belief, in yourself or a higher power. It helps if you have company.
Then comes the pivot habits. The one habit which could bring a change in a lot of other aspects.
In my opinion, the theory seems simple but what is essential is recognizing the cues and the rewards we are seeking. 

How do I seek to incorporate this into my life?

Simple things.
Make my bed as soon as I wake up.
Brush my teeth before I go to bed.
I have the habit of eating before going to bed, in bed and in between my sleep. The cue is me being ready to go to my bed and read or watch some television. The reward obviously being filling up my moderately full stomach. Having a cup of nice hot tea everyday. That is going to be my routine.
Write one reaction paper every day.

So that's my list:
  - make my bed.
  -  write one reaction paper every day of the week.
  - brush my teeth before going to bed.
  -  a hot cup of caffeine free tea before going to bed.

The reaction paper a day is a bit over ambitious but lets see how it goes for a week at least. 

No Excuse this time

I have a new data set.
I have a good team working on it.
There is no excuse this time around.

Nook and the reading experience.

 

Thanks to my cousin's Nook and a depressed state that lasted for 3 complete days, finished two good books.  Wild by Cheryl Strayed and Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. Both are stories of great suffering and how the protagonists pull themselves through extremely difficult situations. 

I have intersected the PCT on two of my hikes and met a few amazing people actually doing the PCT. After I finished the book, I looked around and found a copy of the PCT guide in my book shelf. I want to hike the California part of the PCT at some point of time in my life. I think before I attempt to do that may be I should go on a few week long backpacking trips and see how I feel. I think what captivated me was the way Cheryl put her emotions out bluntly. The way she explains her self destruction. I think it takes a lot of courage and solitude to analyze one's self destruction which is what she attempts to do in the book. Whenever I try to analyze something that has gone wrong with me, my mind just shuts down and refuses to cooperate. 

What do I take away with Unbroken? The value of human dignity!

Next up : The power of habit by Charles Duhigg.

 

Drafts

My blog consists mostly of just drafts. Thoughts of mine which I am just too embarrassed to share. What's the point of having a blog then. I am what I am and this is what I think. So here come the drafts:

Reasons to tie the knot:
We debate why do it? and never come to a conclusion.

'Coz its happier. Is it really?

Why do marriages in India work more than that in the US? Do they really?Aren't most of the people really unhappy most of the time or are they really happy?

In "non-arranged" marriages , when people marry for "love". Are they really marrying for love? or are they fooling themsleves?

Is companionship synonymous with love? If not, why not?

When making bad decisions is no longer acceptable: 

Bad decisions lead to good learning experiences. But the learning experiences need to stop at some point. At the very least as a continuous sequence. I want to make a good decision for a change now and see it bear fruit.

I am scared. I am scared I am not doing the right thing. I am scared for most of the time. But there are a few moments which are just beautiful.

It is time:  

When I think it was better for me that it happened, I love you.
When I think I would have been better off with out it, I hate you.
No matter what, you will always be someone special . Good luck and good bye!

Candid Moments: 

Once in a while I keep thinking I should quit doing my PhD and then without even me seeking out, some talk with some person happens in the lab and I stay on. The talk with the Brian Jo one summer night and the one with Carlos tonight.
Carlos : Research is something that cannot be not learnt.
Brian Jo : Even if I were I were in the industry, this is what I would find myself doing in the night. So why not do it full time.
I really like these people.

Happily Married Li(f)e: 

I guess it is just full of questions.
Is it worth analyzing is the first question? Yes.  I love my Family. Yeah, I used to fight with my sister all the time when I was a kid but I love her none the less. I never want anything bad happening to her. I love my parents. They love me unconditionally even though I am sure they hated me at some moments when I was a child and might hate me in the future when they realize that I haven't exactly stuck to the family norms.

Happy being unhappy: 

I think I have gone too used to being unhappy or thinking that I am unhappy that I think I am unhappy when I am not unhappy. I just typed the above sentence without erasing a single line and its amazing how I haven't used the word happy even once. Show's my affinity towards being unhappy?

It might be hard to believe from what I just typed above but really, I am a happy person. Or should I say, anything but an unhappy person.