"You are repeating yourself"

You are repeating yourself. You are repeating yourself. Say that to yourself when you are in a dark place. or have someone say that to you and keep repeating it yourself.

Don't do that. It hurts.

My sister turns 29

and it makes me think how far she has come.  I am really happy for her.  She has built a life for herself without making much noise. She married the guy that she loves. For many it might seem a no big deal. Coming from an orthodox background as ours, it is a big deal. Especially when my family least expected any sort of surprises from my sister. She has a son, Rithvik, who is almost 2 months old. She is back to working at HP.  She is one of the most genuinely nice people that I know. (there aren't many I know and I wouldn't give even my mom that tag). We are as different as siblings can ever get. I do not agree with her on most issues but I love her nonetheless.
Cheers to my sister and to her silent ways of doing things!

Can it get anymore relevant?

Emancipator : Artist
With Rainy Eyes : Song
Soon It Will Be Cold Enough : Album

Oops I did it again!

I have these phases when I just sleep. No I'm not depressed when I do that. I just do that. I continue sleeping and I don't do anything the entire day. I can sleep for more than 24 hours. Unless something forces me to get out of bed, I can go on for up to 48 hours. And that something has to be some commitment that I made to someone else.

Every time I do something like that I say to myself, I won't repeat that and yet I keep doing that once in a while. I did it again yesterday. This time I did not turn in a homework, cancelled a dinner with a couple of friends and did not check my mail in time to go for badminton practice. What was I doing? Sleeping most of the time. Eating bagels all day long. Reading Ramayana the little time that I was awake. Yeah you read it right, reading The Ramayana. These days I seem to enjoy reading it very much. If sleeping all day long is senseless, reading the Ramayana adds to the comedy that's my life. When all of this comes back to bite me, I bet its going to be very painful.

Nike Women's Marathon 2011

So here goes the story. It goes way back to 2010 when me and my friend Sisi drove a common friend Mary to SF for NWM 2010. It was a memorable experience. When we were waiting for Mary at the finis line we heard stories from women who finished the marathon. Some in pain. Whom am I kidding most of them in pain but all of them ecstatic to have done it.

October 15th 2011.
I get to sleep on Akshay's couch on the night before the race. He lives on 6th and the Mission (close to the starting point of the race). He literally lives on the 6th and the Mission. If you were to jump from his window, you would be ON the 6th and the Mission. I decided to park my car near his place and walk to the Union square to pick up my race packet. Bad decision. My phone's GPS asked me walk on the Leavenworth street. I did. There were junkies, hookers, homeless people who won't stop staring at you, people who would cat call. I did what I used to do when I was 10 and had to walk from the bus stop to my home on a road filled with monkeys. Say a prayer and keep my head straight, not let the fear that I felt inside reflect on my face and be prepared to run if I had to.
Apart from that, everything else was fun. Akshay and I had dinner at Naan 'n' Curry. The best Naan I have had outside Delhi. The Bhindi masala was a well of oil. Guess he thought I needed to get 'fueled' up for my race. Literally. I slept quite soundly. The few times I woke up to drink some water, I could hear people arguing down on the street. As Akshay told me earlier, it does indeed get noisy in the night.

October 16th
Akshay dropped me midway to the start of the race. I walked up a few blocks and before I could line myself up at the start of a faster pace group, I found myself running to the start line and thus began the race. I did not have my head phones this time. I could listen to what people's conversations, most of which I found utterly boring.
Mile 1 :
I was dodging people
Mile 2:
I was dodging people
Mile 3 :
I was dodging people.
There was a church choir cheering the runners.
Mile 4:
The t shirt comes off.
High school cheer leaders were cheering us on.
I was dodging people.
Mile 5:
A group of drummers keeping up the beat.
I was dodging people.
Mile 6:
Here come the hills. I hear shouts of "I love hills".
I was dodging people.
Mile 7 :
I have water.
Had to run away from the conversation of two middle aged women.
I was dodging people.
Mile 8 :
Beautiful views of the ocean.
Running by myself feels amazing.
Mile 9 - 12 :
I thought at the start of the race that I would think about what has been plaguing me for an year now. I don't. All along the race I don't. I just run. I don't think of anything else but running. What a waste :P
Mile 13 :
I carefully increase my speed. I see a lady running in pain. running.
Last 0.1 mile :
I sprint.
and its done.
No great feelings of ecstasy. I just did it in 2:05:12.
My first half marathon.

Guilty Pleasure

Two years of life at Stanford and I just realized something. I was thinking about my upcoming weekends.
Oct 15th -16th - Nike Half Marathon
Oct 22nd -23rd- Sisi's visit
Oct 28th -30th - Chicago visit for the get together with wing mates

All these make me feel guilty. I feel I don't deserve them. I never used to feel this way back in the IIT days. Is it part of growing up or is it the US or is it just Stanford? Well I dunno. Whatever is the reason, I am gonna try and keep the guilt at bay.